November 30, 2023

10 Clues The Hospital You’re At Is Actually A Hamas Base

These days, it can be hard to tell if the hospital you’re at is also a staging ground for Islamist terrorists to commit mass murder! We at the Babylon Bee have assembled a list of ten subtle clues to help you discern if the hospital you’re at is actually a Hamas base:

  1. The doctors break out in cheers when someone dies: Not a good start.
  2. The ambulance has a .50-cal machine gun mounted on top: It does clear traffic, but in a very Hamas-y manner.
  3. The hospital offers to waive your bill if you strap on this cool vest: To be fair, we’re told they do keep their word.
  4. The gift shop sells “I’m sorry you’ve been taken hostage” balloons: Uh-oh.
  5. The sound of small arms fire keeps coming from the Cancer Ward: Very unorthodox, those Hamas cancer treatments.
  6. You got lost on the way to the cafeteria and ended up in an underground tunnel filled with rocket launchers: Not good!
  7. The pediatric unit is labeled the “Human Shield Ward”: Strong terrorist vibes.
  8. The intake nurse checks your temperature, pulse, and circumcision status: Yikes.
  9. The surgical assistant is a goat: And oh no, he’s wearing Hamas’ little green headband!
  10. None of the doctors are Jewish: Pretty much a dead giveaway.

Spotting Hamas bases inside hospitals can be tough, but keep your eyes peeled for these hints!

Their culture is not your costume. DO NOT appropriate ghost, zombie, or vampire culture this Halloween.

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