November 28, 2023

Advice From Mike Pence and His Daughter

A few years in the past, former Vice President Mike Pence says a superb good friend of his mentioned he was curious how Pence managed to have an exquisite household whereas additionally sustaining a demanding political profession. That dialog grew to become the genesis for Pence’s new ebook, “Go Home for Dinner: Advice on How Faith Makes a Family and Family Makes a Life.” 

The ebook, which Pence co-authored together with his daughter, Charlotte Pence Bond, describes what life was like for the Pence youngsters as they grew up, and how their father lived out his dedication to his household. 

“I’ve never had to be motivated to work hard,” Pence mentioned throughout an interview on “The Daily Signal Podcast.”

“I am always motivated to try and make a difference in the world for the values that I believe in,” Pence says. “But as we recount in this book, I really do believe that for men and women in the busy lives that we lead today, you have to be intentional about putting your family and your faith first in your life.” 

Pence and his daughter be part of the present to elucidate how they’ve stored faith, family, and profession in the appropriate order of their lives.

Listen to the podcast under or learn the evenly edited transcript:

Mary Margaret Olohan: Former Vice President Mike Pence and Charlotte, we’re so grateful to have you ever right here with us in the present day. Thank you a lot for becoming a member of us. 

Charlotte Pence Bond: Thanks for having us on. 

Mike Pence: Thank you, Mary Margaret. Great to be with you. 

Olohan: So, we’re right here to speak about your new ebook, “Go Home for Dinner: Advice on How Faith Makes a Family and Family Makes a Life.” Former Vice President Mike Pence, we’d love to start out with you. What motivated you to put in writing this ebook? 

Pence: Just a few years in the past after we left workplace, it grew to become public that I used to be going to be writing an autobiography and I had a dialog with somebody who’s develop into a superb good friend of mine since that we recount within the opening pages of “Go Home for Dinner” the place he mentioned, “You know, Mike, I’m really looking forward to reading your autobiography because I’m interested in politics and government.” And he mentioned, “But the book I really want to read is, how do you have a family like yours living the life that you’ve lived?”

And I instructed him we gave God the glory first. And I instructed him I used to be humbled by it.

But that was the place the inspiration for “Go Home for Dinner” was born. Because again after I was serving within the Congress, folks would typically come as much as me after I began to point out up on tv and in public debates extra typically, and they’d ask a traditional Washington query. They’d say, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” And I’d at all times say, “Home for dinner.” 

Because I may inform you that for me, I’ve by no means needed to be motivated to work exhausting. I’m at all times motivated to attempt and make a distinction on the planet for the values that I imagine in. But as we recount on this ebook, I actually do imagine that for males and ladies, within the busy lives that we lead in the present day, it’s a must to be intentional about placing your loved ones and your religion first in your life.

And so the chance to work with my daughter to inform in regards to the choices my spouse and I made during the last 25 years to do exactly that was an actual pleasure. But for us, all of it actually begins with going residence for dinner. 

Olohan: It’s a fairly countercultural message in in the present day’s society, prioritizing religion and household over every part else. 

Pence: I feel it may be. Although, actually, as I traveled across the nation during the last two and a half years, together with as a candidate for president for a time, I’m satisfied that the overwhelming majority of the American persons are faith-filled, freedom-loving, family-oriented folks. But as our lives have gotten extra and extra busy, it’s develop into more durable. And notably, I feel, in some ways we’ve misplaced that custom of gathering perhaps not day-after-day, however regularly with our households over a meal.

And Charlotte and I simply, we hope there’s one thing on this ebook that’ll make folks smile, that they’ll come to understand that we’re a fairly typical Christian-American household. But I hope additionally that persons are impressed to show their hearts towards residence as a result of finally, I imagine it’s our religion and our households on this nation which can be our final supply of power. 

Olohan: I’d like to ask Charlotte the following query. I used to be having fun with studying this ebook and a few of my favourite anecdotes in it had been about how you’ll take Charlotte to breakfast on her birthday and then the opposite anecdote about how you wouldn’t skip Charlotte’s first violin recital, which I assumed was very cute as a result of everyone knows how entertaining these recitals are.

Charlotte, I’d love to listen to from you. We see so many younger ladies who don’t have fathers struggling these days, whether or not or not it’s in relationships or beginning their very own households or simply discovering their method as a lady in society, what function do you suppose a father performs in a daughter’s life and how do you share this on this ebook? 

Bond: Yeah, that’s an important query. I don’t know if we’ve been requested that but. I feel it’s fairly large. I feel each dad and mom are clearly important, however I do suppose that your dad has a novel alternative to sort of communicate into your life, the way you view your self.

We discuss how on this chapter we are saying—”Take Your Daughter to Breakfast” is the identify of the chapter. And it talks about how we went out to breakfast on my birthday yearly, and we’d sort of make it work at completely different instances when that didn’t completely pan out schedule-wise. But we discuss at these breakfasts, that there was time for us collectively to speak in regards to the future, discuss my desires, what I needed to do. 

And I do keep in mind instances after I didn’t really feel like I used to be doing the appropriate factor or didn’t really feel like I used to be dwelling as much as a typical I had for myself or that I felt like I needs to be dwelling as much as. And having these breakfasts and these contact factors, not simply annually, however all through a child’s life, particularly a daughter’s life, I feel is admittedly, actually essential. I feel that dads have a duty to do this, actually. 

Olohan: That’s stunning. And we see by means of all these tales within the ebook that you just benefited a lot from that steerage and your father’s care in that method. It sort of touches on one other factor that I needed to ask you each about, however particularly you, Vice President Pence. I feel one thing underdiscussed these days is the significance of sacrifice in household formation. We hear loads in regards to the significance of household and constructing a powerful household, however we don’t at all times discuss how a lot sacrifice performs a job in that. What function do you suppose that sacrifice performed within the formation of your loved ones? 

Pence: Well, I feel it looks as if not simply in your technology, however for a while in our tradition there’s been this notion you could have all of it. And I feel to get to your level, I feel a part of the best way that you’ve got a wedding that not solely can survive however thrive, a household that may thrive within the busy workday world, is you’ve acquired to make choices, you’ve acquired to make selections.

One of our choices we write about in “Go Home for Dinner” was after I was elected to Congress. And sure, it took me 3 times to get elected. So it took some time. But after I lastly acquired elected to Congress within the yr 2000, our children had been all beneath the age of 10. And after we checked out our want to maintain our household shut, we made the choice to uproot our household and transfer our children to Washington, D.C., in the course of the college yr. 

They’d come residence right here to Indiana within the summers and come residence regularly. But as a result of I needed to be residence for dinner, as a result of I needed to be at these violin recitals and at these sporting occasions, we made the choice to have our household with us collectively.

And frankly, the opposite a part of it too is simply, as I attempt and replicate with some actual honesty within the early pages of the ebook, again after I had a chat radio present within the Nineteen Nineties, a part of my day was spent in a house workplace, the place lots of people spend their time. Particularly since COVID, we’ve all found the power with know-how like we’re on proper now to have the ability to work at home both all or a part of the week.

But I used to be working from residence a superb a part of the week after my radio program was over, at a time that Charlotte and her brother and sister had been very younger, and I get very a lot going and I’m making my calls. I used to be concerned in promoting promoting for my radio present and speaking to radio stations that had been carrying the present round Indiana.

But I knew on the finish of the day—and Charlotte admitted the opposite day that this was just a little little bit of a shock to her to study as a result of it’s not one thing that she perceived as a toddler, which I’m joyful about—is usually the toughest factor I’d do on the finish of the day was shut the pc off, shut my day planner, and say, “OK, that’s enough. Now I’m going to go upstairs. I’m going to sit down at a table where I got maybe a toddler in a high chair and two youngsters running around, and I’m going to catch up with their mother and take an interest in their lives.”

And though I’ve acquired a dozen issues occurring in my head about what the following skilled alternative is, I’ve by no means regretted these selections. 

But I additionally, I hope we’re clear on this ebook about that’s exhausting for males and ladies that imagine in achievement and have a way of calling and goal of their careers and of their professions. But what I would like folks to know is that, for me, it finally comes all the way down to religion as properly.

We write in “Go Home for Dinner” that if God didn’t exist, it could by no means make any sense in any respect to surrender skilled time to prioritize your loved ones as a result of there could be a value. And typically there’s a value, but additionally, from a religion perspective, as we cite within the ebook, the Bible says he prospers his beloved even whereas they sleep. And so I’ve at all times believed that after we make God’s priorities our priorities, after we put a very powerful relationships in our life first, that he’ll bless that, and he actually has in our lives, in our household in methods sudden. 

Olohan: So how does going residence for dinner profit your loved ones? 

Pence: I feel it’s simply the continuity. One of the issues that I’ve mentioned for a very long time and is within the pages of this ebook is, I’ve at all times been skeptical of the notion of high quality time.

I imply, perhaps Charlotte can right us on this throughout this interview, however she was awfully exhausting to schedule rising up. I couldn’t say, “You know what, Charlotte, I’m good with you from 5 to 6 and you can tell me everything that’s going on at school and the girlfriend that made you mad today and the guy that you’re interested in.” No. Most of the time I’d go residence and I’d say, “How was your day?” And you’d get, “It was fine,” proper? 

To me, you bought to be there with some continuity for the moments that your youngsters open up. And to me, not less than rising up, for me, the one widespread denominator at our little home on thirty first Street with the cornfield within the yard was that no matter else was occurring in my dad and mom’ lives, no matter else was occurring in our lives, college or taking part in in the summertime months, we had been on the dinner desk at 6.

But as Charlotte’s fast to say, we all know within the busy tradition we stay in in the present day, it’s exhausting for folks to do this. But the precept is similar, and we hope folks discover a solution to create that secure harbor, that constant harbor, together with we imagine in, I mentioned, give your loved ones Sundays, or in case your custom is Saturday or if there’s a day every week that you just simply merely say that your loved ones at all times is aware of, and particularly your youngsters know, “OK, that day’s ours.” And the chance to have, to construct on relationships and actually have good communication comes with that consistency. 

Olohan: Right. Well, Charlotte, I’d love in the event you may share with us, what are among the classes that you just and your father share on this ebook that you just’re taking into your individual household’s life? We know you’re a brand new mom. What are a few of these classes that you’re taking into this new household that you just’ve began? 

Bond: Yeah. It was actually attention-grabbing to do that ebook after I did develop into a mother. We had one Zoom session the place we labored collectively earlier than I had my daughter. So most of it, she was born and she was actually sleeping on me throughout our Zoom conferences or I’d be typing and she’s laying on me. She was actually tiny after we had been writing it.

But I did have to essentially put lots of the ideas into observe, and I felt that I actually wanted to if I used to be going to do one thing like this, like an interview and be speaking in regards to the ebook and saying folks ought to do that with their household. I felt like I’d really feel like a hypocrite if I didn’t try this after I was writing it. So after I could be engaged on it and more often than not simply attempt to put it away and play together with her whereas she was awake for half-hour when she’s actually tiny. 

And I simply actually tried to do this even on Sundays. We didn’t work on Sundays, and it could’ve been very nice to work on Sundays as a result of my husband may watch the infant. But we actually didn’t try this. I actually tried exhausting not to do this, to be current on that day for each of them. So I positively did that.

I additionally simply suppose, typically, listening to these tales once more as a spouse and new mother was cool as a result of, I imply, I’m 30 years previous and it was simply cool to see the place my dad and mom had been at of their lives after they had been of their 30s and the disappointments my dad had together with his jobs and pondering, “OK, I’m done in politics. I’m not going to run for Congress again.” He ran twice and misplaced and simply thought, “OK, that’s done. That was a dream I had, but that’s not going to happen.” And years later finally ends up working for Congress once more and clearly has had a extremely lengthy profession in politics.

So I feel simply remembering that, that you just’re not on the high of your profession on the finish of your profession whenever you’re 30 years previous. And I additionally suppose it inspired me to take time to be current with my daughter loads and not really feel like I used to be going to get behind or one thing if I didn’t work full time or do every part that I used to be doing on the similar tempo I used to be doing it earlier than I had her. So I feel most likely all of these issues. 

Olohan: That’s superb. Well, I needed to barely pivot and ask you each, and I assume I’d like to start out with you, Vice President Pence, each time I heard in regards to the Pence household for the previous, I don’t know, decade, I’d at all times hear about these assaults in your religion. And whether or not it was the completely different ideas you reside by or choices you made or the colleges you had been concerned with, the church buildings you had been concerned with. And I used to be desirous about this making ready for this interview as a result of I just lately interviewed Speaker [Mike] Johnson about his religion, and he’s additionally present process lots of assaults like this. So I’d like to ask you, why do you suppose it’s that the Left and the media are so hostile to politicians who’re so faith-filled? 

Pence: Well, you’d most likely need to ask them. And it could simply be that they could not share that worldview. They could not have that background and that have.

But I’ll inform you, I imply, every part for us begins with religion. And whether or not the criticisms about choices that we made, as we wrote in “Go Home for Dinner,” about constructing levies round your loved ones and notably your marriage to create some buildings in your life that can shield your marriage, or whether or not it was when my spouse was criticized for educating at a Christian college that held to a biblical perception in marriage—I’ll be sincere with you, we simply take these issues in stride.

And the outstanding factor to me is, whereas among the criticism can appear harsh on the time, nearly invariably as I traveled across the nation, I’d be deeply moved at how many individuals would come alongside and communicate a phrase of encouragement and support and that they’d come to know the precedence we had been placing on religion, I perceived by means of these criticisms.

I imply, I have to inform you that Speaker Mike Johnson is a good friend. I’m grateful for his management. He and I spoke only a few quick weeks in the past, and I instructed him that one thing I had discovered alongside the best way was that, because the criticisms got here in, it appeared that it gave folks extra confidence about how honest we had been about our values and about our religion.

And make no mistake about it. For us, every part begins with religion. But each of us have been on a journey. I feel one of many nice joys for me in penning this ebook was sharing not solely my very own journey to coming to religion in Jesus Christ after actually rejecting faith fully in my life, but additionally in that exact same chapter, Charlotte shared about her personal journey.

And our message was: Tell your youngsters, “Don’t fear your doubts.” Karen and I at all times believed that we should, because the Bible says, practice up a toddler in the best way they need to go, and after they’re previous, they’ll not depart from it and declare that religion promise.

But we additionally instructed our children, “We want you to think for yourself. We want you to sort out what you believe in your own.” And we gave our children room to do this. We nonetheless aspire to that.

And so I hope, as folks learn this ebook, they’ll finally draw the road again to no matter we’ve been in a position to do, nevertheless our household’s been in a position to thrive. It finally has come all the way down to, in my life, and I do know in Charlotte’s life, the lifetime of our household, to our religion in God. 

Olohan: That’s stunning. And Charlotte, how would you say that these sorts of faith-oriented assaults have affected the best way you take a look at your religion? 

Bond: Yeah. I feel it will be significant. In the “Don’t Figure It Out” chapter we discuss, when you have doubts in your religion, to comply with it by means of and not be afraid of the place it’ll find yourself as a result of we imagine God will reply these questions that you’ve got.

So in the event you’re by no means challenged in your religion, I feel that may be troublesome then when the challenges do come and your religion is examined, typically then folks actually wrestle and sort of stroll away from their religion or really feel prefer it’s not what they thought it was not directly. But I feel that, finally, in case your religion is attacked, it’s not a superb factor, however it’s one thing that can strengthen it. 

So I feel that simply being OK with listening to these assaults and trying on the different individual with kindness and understanding and understanding typically when persons are attacking so vehemently, it’s as a result of it’s one thing private.

I feel you see that loads with pro-life conditions when folks assault pro-life politicians, and even simply advocates, it’s lots of instances as a result of they’ve a private expertise with abortion. And so simply remembering that there’s a human behind them and there’s a human behind me. So there’s extra to each story, however I feel having your religion examined is one thing that may actually strengthen it. 

Olohan: Right. Well, earlier than we go, I’d like to ask you each—we all know so many younger households now which can be making an attempt to stay a extra conventional way of life and they’re making an attempt to start out their very own household, and lots of that’s based mostly on religion. What recommendation would you give to them in the event that they don’t have precedent of their household life to look again on learn how to have a faith-filled household like your individual? What recommendation would you give them? 

Pence: Well, Mary Margaret, I’d inform them to purchase “Go Home for Dinner,” seize a highlighter. No, look, for me, I do suppose, and Charlotte and I write within the epilogue of the ebook, I imply, lots of the helps for marriage and household as a precedence in our life on this nation have given method in the previous few generations. And fairly frankly, you take a look at the American household in the present day, in lots of respects, it’s in free fall.

About the time I confirmed up on the planet, Mary Margaret, there was perhaps 1 in 10 family with somebody dwelling alone in America. Now it’s a 3rd of all American households, persons are dwelling alone. Some folks describe an epidemic of loneliness on this nation, and whether or not it’s a younger couple simply beginning out or whether or not it’s folks which can be experiencing that, the Bible says God places the lonely in households. And my hope is that individuals studying this ebook will—I hope it makes them smile. 

I hope it offers them some helpful instruments to consider, however I hope they see us as a fairly strange American household that’s had extraordinary alternatives to serve this nation, however all alongside the best way, as a result of we made sure choices to place our religion in household first, have been in a position, as I mentioned, not simply to outlive, however to thrive.

I actually do imagine you could stay your desires, you could be a unprecedented completed man or lady on this nation, and you may as well have a thriving household, but it surely’s going to require you to place first issues first and actually be targeted on a core goal in your life.

I imply, I had one interviewer inform us just lately that the center of this ebook is perhaps Chapter 3, the place again about 30 years in the past, I heard a sermon that spoke about how God spoke about fulfilling Abraham’s goal in Genesis 18:19, but it surely mentioned that he’d chosen Abraham to see the member of his personal family, that they’d do what is true and simply in order that the Lord would fulfill his goal for him. 

And I’d gone by means of, as Charlotte mentioned just a few moments in the past, I’d gone by means of a few disappointing campaigns. I didn’t know if I’d have the alternatives to make a distinction on the planet that I felt referred to as to in public life, but it surely was in that sermon, as we write about in “Go Home for Dinner,” that I reset my dial. I mentioned, “OK, my purpose in life is to be the husband and father that God wants me to be and make everything flow after that.”

And I may say to anybody trying on that that was an extremely essential second in my life and the lifetime of my household as a result of it looks as if the extra I targeted on ensuring that I used to be the sort of husband, nevertheless imperfectly, that Karen deserved, the sort of father that Charlotte deserved, and Michael and Audrey, the extra different doorways of alternative opened. 

I feel God blessed our path even whereas we targeted evermore earnestly on ensuring that we made sensible choices to place our household first. So for me, it’s about taking a step of religion, however placing that religion into observe. And as I mentioned, it’s no extra difficult than beginning out by going residence for dinner. 

Olohan: Well, thanks each a lot for becoming a member of us. We’re so glad to have you ever right here, and we’re so excited for our listeners to listen to about your ebook and hopefully go purchase it. 

Bond: Thanks a lot. 

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