June 22, 2024

Congressmen Build Special Soundproof Girl Congress Next Door So The Men Can Get Some Work Done

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With women on the House Oversight Committee raising a ruckus and bringing a halt to legislative business, congressmen announced they had built a special soundproof Girl Congress next door for the womenfolk to go so the men could get some work done.

The smaller, cuter congress building was helpfully painted pink and has been outfitted with all the girls’ most desirable amenities, including thousands of throw pillows, wicker baskets, and Stanley tumblers to give the girl congressmen a comfortable place to screech obscenities at each other while the male congressmen tended to the business of the country.

“They’re going to love it,” said Pennsylvania Representative Scott Perry. “It’s got all the things girls need. They can just go in there, do their girl things behind closed doors, and let us handle all the real congressional stuff. We even made sure to decorate it with stuff from that Joanna Gaines lady from the television. There are salads to eat. Barbies. And little kittens. Girls love little kittens, right?”

The congressmen made sure to specify that the building be fully soundproof to prevent anyone outside from hearing the constant nagging and arguing going on inside. “That was priority number one,” said Wisconsin Representative Glenn Grothman. “The noise. We had to make sure we contained the noise. With that taken care of, we can finally hear ourselves think. They can stay in their girl congress and do girl things. Braid each other’s hair and whatnot.”

At publishing time, an urgent call had come in from the Girl Congress building to have one of the male congressmen come open a jar.

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