February 20, 2024

Theologians Confirm Trumpet Blast At Christ’s Coming Will Be Playing ‘The Final Countdown’


U.S. — Theologians have finally confirmed that when the trumpet blasts to signal the second coming of Christ, the trumpet will be playing the epic ballad “The Final Countdown”.

“When you hear the trumpet blast across the earth, flooding earth with the band Europe’s ultimate rock anthem, the return of Christ is imminent,” said theology professor Dr. Miles Stanley. “Man, that song is a banger! Four notes is all it takes, and you know what you’re in for.”

While a small faction of theologians had posited that the trumpet would play “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It,” ultimately a consensus arose for Europe’s rock standard. “You can just hear the trumpet nailing that intro on ‘The Final Countdown’ as the heavens open,” said theologian Rick Masterson. “It is undeniably epic, soul-stirring, and lyrically poignant. Nothing could be more fitting for Christ’s coming.”

According to sources, theology students have begun pranking their professors by sneaking up with a Bluetooth speaker and suddenly turning on “The Final Countdown” full volume. “Okay, I admit, they got me to look up at the sky to see if the curtains of this earth were rolling back,” said Stanley. “I was annoyed for a moment, but then the song really got going. Man, it just pumps you up!”

At publishing time, theologians had confirmed that only the intro would be played and there would be no weird singing, just that one slamming riff.


By now the whole internet has heard Ben Shapiro rapping, but did you know that there are actually two more verses they cut out of the track?


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