Asian Kid Who Actually Went To Columbia To Learn Gettin’ Real Sick Of This Crap

NEW YORK, NY — As unrest due to anti-Israel protests continued into another day, an Asian kid who went to Columbia University to actually learn was reportedly gettin’ real sick of this crap.

The student, who worked hard all his life to get accepted to the school to position himself for a bright and successful future, expressed frustration that increased aggression from large groups of students toward Jewish people has led to ridiculous amounts of tomfoolery on campus.

“I just want to go to Organic Chemistry,” said Zhou Cheng as he attempted to wade through the Gaza Solidarity Encampment. “Is that too much to ask? Can we maybe not set up autonomous zones and threaten ethnic groups with extinction? Maybe, just, go to class?”

Zhou said he had grown increasingly annoyed by the rising number of students engaging in shenanigans and buffoonery that distracts other, more serious students like himself from their studies. “It’s gotten absurd,” he said. “If I wanted to go to a school where I wouldn’t learn anything and have to deal with a bunch of woke-minded fascists on a daily basis while I’m trying to study, I would have gone to Harvard!”

Though there are still a few weeks left in the school year, Zhou said he would be attending classes online from now on so he could complete his degree and become successful and wealthy enough to own large portions of U.S. farmland someday.

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