May 21, 2024

Hamas Celebrates Proposed Ceasefire With Rocket Barrage


GAZA — With reports of a proposed agreement to temporarily end hostilities in the conflict between Israel and Palestine, Hamas celebrated the proposed ceasefire with a rocket barrage directed toward Tel Aviv.

Shouts of joy were heard by witnesses throughout Gaza as battered and weary Hamas terrorists expressed their jubilation by launching several thousand rockets into Israeli territory.

“We may finally be able to rest from fighting! Load more rockets!” one fighter was heard exclaiming. “We will celebrate in the traditional Hamas fashion by seeking to inflict more destruction and death on innocent civilians! We are so relieved by the possibility of a pause in bloodshed! Death to Israel!”

The tentative ceasefire agreement was proposed by Hamas after several months of intense fighting, with media reports of nearly 10 trillion Palestinian casualties. “We are very thankful that we could potentially stop being held accountable for the vicious and unprovoked attacks we launched back in October,” a Hamas spokesterrorist said. “A break in the war could provide us with much-needed time to regroup, dismantle as much of our critical infrastructure as possible to create rockets, and show our gratitude to the wicked Israelis by violating the terms of any ceasefire as soon as we can. Seriously, it is very helpful to us as we devise new ways to inflict pain and death upon the Jews.”

At publishing time, Hamas fighters were also putting the finishing touches on their new “ceasefire edition” of the group’s trademark suicide bomber vest.


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