May 21, 2024

‘Me Teach You White Man Secret Of Fire!’ Governor Hochul Says To Primitive Black Children Of The Bronx

NEW YORK, NY — In a heartwarming outreach to African Americans, New York Governor Kathy Hochul visited a Bronx elementary school to bring the miracle of white man’s fire to the Black community.

“Me teach you white man secret of fire!” Gov Hochul told a group of 6th graders. “Oooooo! Fire!”

Governor Hochul then demonstrated the use of a BIC lighter and lit a wooden torch in her hand, waving it around so that all the kids could be amazed by white man’s secret fire trick.

Grade schoolers were reportedly bored by the demonstration, which the school superintendent blamed on their short attention span from being Black.

“Look! Flame hot! No touch!” Hochul warned.

In a press release, the governor’s office proudly proclaimed, “Governor Hochul has brought fire to the Blacks!”

“We’re so thankful the governor could dumb herself down enough to talk to these kids,” said one district employee. “Maybe we can teach them about electricity next.”

At publishing time, Governor Kathy Hochul had visited a grade school in the Upper West Side to teach them how to use a real computer.

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