May 19, 2024

For Greater Inclusivity, Boy Scouts Of America Removes Every Word In Name Except ‘Of’


IRVING, TX — In a step toward greater inclusion, The Boy Scouts Of America announced this week that it will be just going by “Of” from here on out.

“We realized our name had a lot of problematic terms, like ‘Boy,’ ‘Scouts,’ and ‘America’ in it,” Scouting executive Tim Galbraith told reporters. “We decided ‘Of’ was much more inclusive and pinpoints what scouting, I mean, um… ‘of-ing’ really means. Go Of!”

Traditionally an all-boys organization designed to foster rugged, masculine patriotism and service in young men, scouting has come under fire in recent years for not including girls, trans-girls, trans-boys, and two-spirit genderqueer child drag queen polycules. Leaders say the name change showcases ‘Of’s’ commitment to transitioning itself from a beneficial program for young men into just another watered-down all-gender after-school program run by communist weirdos.

“We feel this is the best way to completely torpedo any remaining relevance scouting had,” Galbraith said. “We’re working on a whole new program aimed specifically at creating an inclusive, generic, all-gender environment sure to attract today’s modern kids. Go ‘Of’!”

As of publishing time, ‘Of’ had rebranded to just “–” after some people pointed out the word “of” is offensive to a remote tribe in Subsarahan Africa that goes by a similar name.


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