Political Humor

Priest Reveals 12 Weirdest Sins People Have Confessed

The seal of confession officially prohibits priests from disclosing what they learn while hearing a confession, but according to an ancient church rule, if you guess correctly they have to tell you.

Using that ancient rule, we tricked a priest into telling us the weirdest sins people have confessed to him:

“I watch YouTube videos all the time but I never ‘like’ or ‘subscribe.'”
“I never once used my air fryer even though I told my husband I’d use it all the time.”
“I once murdered two people and totally got away with it and then had the gall to write a book titled If I Did It.”
“I kissed my sister, but I didn’t know she was my sister at the time though, I thought she was a hot space princess.”
“I invented Labradoodles.”
“I once published an account or description of an NFL game without express written consent.”
“I ran the water in a public restroom sink to pretend I was washing my hands.”
“I lied about my uncle crashing on an island and being eaten by cannibals.”
“I say I’m a big Lord of the Rings fan even though I’ve only ever watched the movies and never read the books.”
“Sometimes I roll myself up like a burrito and pretend to be a sandworm.”
“I said ‘hola!’ to a dark-skinned man who turned out to be Indian.”
“I nailed the 95 Theses to a church door eventually leading to Steven Furtick being a pastor.”